House Update

So I may or may not have an appointment with my loan lady (Lois Loan) at 11:00 this morning to discuss the industrial sized monkey wrench that was thrown into the workings our house buying process.

This all started last week when the MAN called and talked to the guy handling my MIL's paperwork. We originally met with him with the idea of him handling all of our business but we went with the builder's loan people due to some incentives they gave out. He told us this whole process would be EASY. That he could handle EVERYTHING for the process of selling our property to his mother. HA! He tells us that since it's family, all she has to do is assume the loan on our property and transfer her to title and us off - DONE! HA! He also says that way there is no loan process or appraisal needed - HA! So for MONTHS we have been operating under these details and just the other day he called to see what the hold up was NOW. There have been SEVERAL exasperating details that have come up within this whole process that have basically had us tearing our hair out and screaming at the skys "WHY O WHY is she so CRAZY?!"

That's when he tells us that "well I can't transfer her to your title, YOUR loan person has to do that" AND "well you can't just have her ASSUME your loan, you have to refinance and in that case she would have to qualify and we would have to get it appraised" AND HE SAYS "I really don't KNOW if she'll qualify" - !!!!! Needless to say, we're freaking out just a little. We were banking on her buying that house so we could qualify for the new house. We needed that sale for the down payment on said new house. We also can't just turn around and sell it to someone else because A) we don't have the time and B) she has TRASHED the place since she's living in it. Oh, it's just so damn stressful even to think about this whole thing.

So the MAN called Lois Loan and she says "Not to worry" and that there is some form we can fill out and say that she is leasing to buy our house. That she is putting a down payment on it and is going to buy it SOME DAMN DAY. Which all sounds super, as long as we can still qualify for OUR house with all that hanging over our heads. It also means that we have to get a renter into the property of MILs that we are currently in because that would be the ONLY money to cover the mortgage on the house she is buying from us . . . are you lost? Cause I am :-(

MIL owns properties A and C, we own property B and all properties are next to each other as they were bought when Adam was a boy. We live in A because we have hella kids and she was SUPPOSED to give it to DH when she inherited it in the FIRST PLACE. He spent months renovating it after she TRASHED it by living in filth with her 27 cats for 5 years. She lives in our house B because it's small but has a huge lot and she can just KISS IT! House C is currently vacant as she was renting it but they screwed her and now DH has been renovating THAT house for months. She was going to sell it but because she has a mortgage on IT, now it looks like she'll have to rent it again. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE HELL SHE DOES AS LONG AS I GET THE F**K OUT. She doesn't want to sell it anyway, she thinks all this property is "money in the bank" as she puts it, even though everything she touches turns to crap and is basically worthless. But again, I DONT CARE AS LONG AS I GET THE F**K OUT. Now of course this doesn't sound nearly as frustrating as it seems like I make it out to be, but TRUST ME, IT IS. You would think she would be at least SOMEWHAT greatful for all the renovations her son has done to her houses FOR FREE, but what she does is blame him for everything she can think of and if she can't think of anything she makes it up. I swear she does, I've seen her do it. Plus she talks A LOT of shit. She goes around telling people that we're "buying some crappy little townhouse that's no better than living in an apartment" and "we just think we're fancy and need some fancy house to make us feel better even though we can't really afford it" and there's more of course, we know because these people make comments to us about our "sad little apartment we're paying too much money for". Which in reality could not be farther from the truth.

BUT WHATEVER. I guess I'm a little more upset with her than I realized when starting this post. I am just so tired. So tired of her little games and her talking shit and being in my business. Yesterday, in the middle of telling me that my baby cries whenever she comes over because I DUMP HER OFF ON HER TOO MUCH, (she NEVER babysits anymore cause i don't trust her)and then when i tried to tell her that ACTUALLY she needs to be around more people because she is only EVER with me and cries whenever anyone else is around and thats not healthy (SHES 2) she finished with *insert decrepid old lady voice here "WEEEEELLLL, you can't expose her to people cause she might get TYPHOID! It's CRAZY out there these days ya know!" Then as I was picking my jaw up off the floor she slipped out the back before I could ask her what the F**K was wrong with her. One day I will have to tell all of you (3) lovely internet folk why it is that we call her the Crazy Cat Lady.

All that being said, and it was a lot to say, I should get going. I must feed 4 kids, chase and diaper one, shower and try to look presentable in this humid 80 degree RAINY weather, and call the CCL to come watch said heathens and try to remind her that YES I DID TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ALREADY DONT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW! So I will go. and I WILL conquer. and I will come back to tell you all why i KNOW she is CRAZY. So thanks for all (3 of you) supporting me through this trying time, even if it is just by reading my thoughts without commenting ;-) j/k . . . mostly . . .

OK, TNT!