More MEMEness!

Ok, miss Rebecca tagged me again with a somewhat random type MEME. The topic is randomness but has some pointed questions so that's good. Here goes!

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Wife/mother/homekeeperupper :-D
2. Customer Service Extrodinaire at a crappy flooring place
3. Customer Service with a crappy .com site
4. Customer Service at Toys R Us - Hmmmm...I see a pattern immerging here - serving people with little to no recognition ;-)

Four movies I would watch over and over again (and probably have)
1. Sleepy Hollow (I watch this EVERYTIME I see that it's on)
2. Princess Bride (I've watched it enough to quote pretty much EVERY line, and I do ;-)
3. Office Space (BEST.MOVIE.EVER)
4. ANY episode of Seinfeld or Sex and the City (I have them all on DVD so that TOTALLY counts!)

Four places I have lived:
1. Morro Bay, Cali (where I was born - on the ocean - LOVE IT!)
2. Lodi, Cali (lived most of my life there - eh)
3. Phoenix, Arizona (moved as a just married 18 year old(!) my oldest was born there)
4. Stockon, Cali (sigh...SOON TO BE O-town!)

Four shows I love to watch:
1. LOOOOOOOOST (that's LOST and if you haven't watched then you just don't know ;-)
2. Dancing with the Stars (LOVE IT!)
3. The Riches (it's on like FX or something - GOOOOOOD SHOOOOOW)
4. Dirt (also on FX or something - Courtney Cox Arquette is in it and it's awesome!)

Four place I have been on vacation:
1. Hawaii (when I was 16 when my grandparents lived there, *I* wanna live there!)
2. Disneyland (I know it's nothing spectacular, but to me it truly is magic, I could live there too! No, seriously.)
3. Laughlin, NV (quick trip but FUN, back when there were people to watch the kids! Ah the good ol days)
4. Dorrington, CA (Up in the mountains and BEAUTIFUL - my honey whisked me up there for my b-day right after he proposed to me :-D)

Four of my fav foods (only four?):
1. CHEESECAKE from the Blue Frog in Fairfield (my honey was at lunch there and brought me back a peice all the way to work, before we were even honeys)
2. CHEESECAKE from Marie Calendars (we had dinner there by accident, it was our non-official first date)
3. CHEESECAKE from Rosewood (that was our first real date and we go there EVERY time we get the chance)
4. CHEESECAKE well pretty much ANYWHERE ELSE ;-)

Four places I would rather be right now (again, only four?):
1. Disneyland (I told you, I could LIVE there)
2. A beautiful, warm, and not too crowded beach anywhere, with my honey
3. In the car on our way somewhere with all the kids
4. In my bed, taking a NAP

Four people to pass this MEME of sorts onto (HA FOUR!)
1. Sherry
2. Anyone is looking for something to blog about today...

TNT!

Embarassing Little Known Facts About ME LIST!

Well I got tagged again by one of those MEME things - w00t! Rebecca tagged me for this one and here are the rules:

1. Each player (?) starts with 8 random habits/facts about themselves, remember folks, let's keep it PG - well - maybe PG13 ;-)
2. Tagged people must write a blog about these habits or face death by ant hill.
3. At the end of your blog you must tag 8 people and run the risk of being ignored or alienated by these people, and post their names.
4. You must then leave them a comment on their site completely off the topic of whatever post you comment on, telling them they too have been "TAGGED!" and they must now read your blog and up your circulation numbers.

ON TO THE FUN!

Random Crap #1 - I am way to addicted to Starbucks. I enjoy my Venti Non-Fat No-Whip White Mochas so much that I create situations to justify getting one. "Man, it's Monday, I need a coffee" "WOW, Tuesday morning and all the kids are gone tonight, think I'll celebrate with a coffee!" "OH Wednesday afternoons are SOOOOO long, think I deserve a coffee" "GOOD JOB on getting up this morning - LET'S HAVE ANOTHER COFFEE!!" and so on...you should hear what I have to tell myself to justify the second coffee! Hey, at least I'm sending those Baristas through college!

Random Crap #2 - Thomas the Tank Train Engine WHATEVER freaks me the F**K out. I don't know why. I am well aware that it is a TOTALLY irrational fear (most of mine are) but that damn face is scary. I hate when that stupid shoe comes on TV when I'm not looking and I do look over to see it and I'm like AAHHH! Screw YOU crappy train and Alec Baldwin!

Random Crap #3 - I am a closet "Bachelor" Fan. Wow, I can't believe I just spoke (wrote) those words outloud. I haven't watched it in forever but this last season for some reason HOOKED me. I realized I would have to be a closet fan when the MAN says while watching a commercial for it "WOW, I am SO glad you don't watch those stupid shows...huh how could ANYONE watch that CRAP?" - I said something like "YEAH!" and watched it the next day online as soon as he left for the day ;-) And I don't know if ANY of you people were watching it this season but I TOTALLY CRIED when he choose that stupid girl over BEVIN! WHATEVER! I couldn't even listen to that other girl talk! He and Bevin were WAY cuter together too! UGH! WHATEVER! OK, that being said, if any one ever brings it up again I WILL DENY EVERYTHING ;-)

Random Crap #4 - I had like NO friends when I was a kid. I mean NO friends. In elementary school I was MORE than awkward. School was awful and I really had no idea how awkward I was until much much later. The only friend I had by my house would play with me after school but at school I wasn't allowed to talk to her or be her friend. I was her closet friend. What a bitch huh? I eventually came out of my shell in middle school and high school and evolved into the social butterfly you all know me as today *insert big smile and head tilt here :-D

Random Crap #5 - I watch the Backyardigans and Wonder Pets, and I like it. I even sing their songs! I even sing their songs when the TV is off! I think my baby likes it better when I don't. She kinda looks at my funny and stops singing until I'm done and starts again. Even my kids mock me!

Random Crap #6 - I value a sense of humor over good looks anyday. Don't tell my honey that, he thinks I married him for his sweet sweet ass ;-) I guess this is the reason I think Steve from Blue's Clues is better looking than say Jon Cluade Van Dam or somebody. NOW BEFORE YOU GO REPORT ME TO THE FREAK POLICE, I'm talking about Steve NOW not during the Blue's Clue's days, not that that makes a LOT of difference. He's a singer now and has this webpage that made me a little hot I admit - mostly because I was laughing so hard and he was just funny - check out the FAQs, but not in a corny way. And he just made me smile :-D NOW BEFORE YOU RUN TO GET THE FREAK POLICE ANYWAY check it out first before YOU mock me too!

Random Crap #7 - I have a linear line OCD kinda thing. I don't know how to describe it other than I like things even. Pictures, numbers, lines, decorations on tables stuff like that. I like equal numbered objects or equal mass on either side of an object. Weird, and hard to explain but it upsets me and I don't know why. I guess it's genetic though cause Boss and Monster have it too! Boss used to throw a FIT if her cup was not perfectly perpendicular to her plate and equadistant from the corner of her placemat, she was like 2 1/2. I just noticed Monster get upset at me the other day because I didn't put her sippy cup in the right place on the table and watched her pick up the cup and put it down in the right place and then turn the cup to face her. OCD man...

Random Crap #8 (FINALLY) - I actually do like these Meme things. I like thinking about off the wall stuff or just stuff in general that makes me think about myself. We spend so much of our time thinking about our kids or jobs or the house or whatever and don't get to just think about ourselves. So these MEMEs give you a chance (and excuse) to focus on you or what you think about WHATEVER it is. I think that is a great thing. Plus it gives me something to post about when I might not normally have posted and brings others into my world and let's me into theirs, or whatever ;-)

So I am tagging - SHERRY - and...um...I guess that's all :-( I guess I don't have many bloggy friends either or at least ones that haven't been tagged...It's LIKE GRADE SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN . . . NOOOOOOOOOOO!

;-) Sorta...

So there ya go, pass on this Random Crap About Me MEME or should as it turned out for me Embarassing Little Known Facts about Me...
:-D

TNT!

The CRAP We Go Through

I was sitting here, drinking coffee, reading LOST blogs and minding my OWN business when it finally happened...

I look at my almost 2 year old on the chair next to me to see a BARE ASS staring back at me . . . and the ASS was NOT CLEAN . . .

Yeah that's right . . . I have NOW experienced that Missing Diaper Moment, the Dirty Ass Dilemma . . . the Poo on your SHOE (except I was barefoot!).

HOW you ask? HOW did you make it through almost 3 (THREE) babyhoods without finding the trail of poo coming from an abandoned diaper? I DON'T KNOW AND DIDN'T QUESTION IT FOR FEAR OF TEMPTING FATE!!!!! Well, karma is a bitch and is kickin MY ass for laughing at all of YOU'RE stories of the poo poo suprise.

I really was starting to find that my morning was picking up. I was woken up EVERY 15-20 minutes last night (no exageration) to my baby TALKING. Either in her sleep or she just decided to forego sleep last night - either way - I woke up everytime she started talking. Then the MAN got up at 4 and needed SOMETHING, by the time I got back to sleep - she was UP and raring to go - at 5 (AM). I was so damn tired and would have shrieked when I looked in the mirror this morning, but all I could muster was 'aah'. Then I got up and made coffee the MAN's way and it came out GREAT! Things were looking up! Then after getting her breakfast (note to self: NO MORE EARLY MORNING FRUIT!) I sat down to a nice blog surfing session with my breakfast of champions - last nights brownies - w00t! Like I said...minding my OWN business...I did NOT expect to look down and see the poo poo plater.

I have never been through this before and it seemed to go in slow motion...imagine if you will...I look down, jump out of my chair and grab that nekid little baby to find that it was not your average CRAP . . . she had 'mud butt'. That is where the slow mo starts - I see and register the offense in my poor sleep deprived brain and scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Oh God, NOOOOOOOOO"

I run around carrying soiled child around looking for the dirty diaper and wipes she was playing with just a minute before. I turned around and around in circles like a LUNATIC looking for poo spots on the carpet but because we chose this RETARDED carpet that ALREADY HAS SPOTS I didn't know what was crap and what was just crappy carpet! I find and grab the wipes and try to figure out how to wipe her MUD BUTT without laying her down, meanwhile trying NOT to step in any AWOL shit that has to be SOMEWHERE. I managed to clean her with about 20 wipes as it was on the hands, feet, legs, knees, and all the cracks and crevices in between. Then I RUN and get a diaper, and onesie (SAY GOOD BYE TO DIAPER TIME MISSY!) and RUN back out before she has time to find the missing mess.

Then the REAL work begins - WHERE O WHERE did she go BEFORE I found her!!!!!! There is no discernable trail! I scouer the floor in the living room and into the dinning room only to be led to my NEW, WHITE, CHAIRS! I scream again - "dear GOD NO!" - you will be relieved to know that I am one of THOSE people who bought WHITE-micro-fiber-seated-way-to-expensive-to-have-around-little-kids furniture . . . and left the plastic on the chair seats :-D

SO, said POO was on the plastic, and the rest of the chair as well as the wood floor in the dinning room. But NO WHERE ELSE - WHA?! But I don't trust it...I got out the vacuum and spray bottle of oxy clean and sprayed EVERY DAMN SUSPECT SPOT I FOUND. Egh...I want to get the damn floor BLEACHED - I won't - but MAN I WANT TO! This just reinforces my choice for tiling the whole damn downstairs of the new house! Then I CAN bleach the shit! (pun intended).

So, I have now entered that faction of parents who have had the shit hit the fan in the most literal way. To have experienced the Poo being Threw, the Carpet Matted in Mud, the Shit Being Slung. I have yet to find floaters during bath time...but I can't imagine that is far behind. Perhaps that will be an entry for tomorrow!

TNT!

WOW ... 2 Posts in ONE Day?!

Ya know, before today I never really put much stock in curses or voodoo...UNTIL today.


My poor frazzled, nervous wreck of a husband, had to take that BOAT out today for attempt NUMBER 2 at the test drive for our buyer. Mind you, our HOUSE is riding on the sale of this boat. We just picked it up YESTERDAY from the THIRD boat fixer.


The first time was because it wouldn't get up to speed and it was a computer problem that the first boat fixer couldn't fix but still charged us $250. The second boat fixer guy, up in ROCKLIN, fixed said computer problems and $1000 LATER said all was GREAT! We took it out for the first test drive and the boat started knockin around like it was going to explode. On to THIRD boat fixer guy who has to remove the entire engine to get to the problem $1000 LATER. That brings us to today...


My poor husband meets the buyer out there at the dock AGAIN and pays the dock fees AGAIN and he turns the key and 'CLICK' - SMOKE FILLS THE FREAKIN ENGINE! The starter blew up and fryed all the wires. WTF?????


Now this is where the curse comes in. His ex and him had a NASTY break up and she claims to be WICAN or whatever. So my question is...does anyone out there know how to crush a curse or vanquish some voodoo? Anyone with experience on EXORISING DEMONS from marine equipment? I need an old priest and a young priest and jet engine. If I were to throw holy water on it do you think it was sink? Oh wait, it already TRIED that see post "Hoppy Easter" April 2007. Maybe sinking it wouldn't be such a bad idea, if we had insurance on it. Can a blog be used against you in a court of law, say in insurance fraud cases? This is just rediculous now, well I think we passed rediculous $1000 ago.


We had to break into his deposit to pay for the LAST repairs. So far, this guy has been pretty cool. Even though he has seen SMOKE coming from the engine and heard the un-earthly noise come from the hull, he's still interested. Could be that's because he talked us down $7,500 maybe. Maybe he figures that we knocked the price down and now we're taking care of all the repairs and not complaining about it (to him anyway ;-) so he's getting a good deal. Although, I just can't see him thinkin that much more. I mean if I had been buyin this boat and had seen HALF of what he has, I would have walked, no RUN, in the other direction screaming 'dear GOD it's possessed!' but that's just me. I wonder if his wife wonders why he keeps coming home with no boat? I know everytime *I see that damn thing backing into the drive way I wonder 'WHAT THE HELL NOW and wanna set fire to it, again, maybe just ME.


SO! WHO'S IN THE MARKET FOR A BOAT?! I know where you can get one! REAAL CHEAP! WE'RE ABOUT READY TO PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE IT! It was originally a $50,000 boat (that was before me ya'll, don't THINK *I would have been good with that!) and we are letting it go for a SCREEEEEEAAAAMIN deal - only $25,000! It's only got 7 hours on the engine (mostly cause we can't get it out of the dock) and TONS of new parts (CAUSE THEY KEEP EXPLODING) It's a total chick magnet (if the coast guards happen to be female) and you can fit 10 in it! (Good thing, cause it takes that many to paddle back to shore). Comes with many upgrades including a swim deck (the first part of the boat to be noticibly underwater if you start going down so keep any eye on it!) and a wake tower (when going down, this will give you extra leverage to stay out of the water until the coast guard arrive) and life jackets for each person (speaks for itself) SO . . . ya know anyone who might be interested???


*This blog does not represent a valid sales offer even if you WANTED it to.
**Curse may be transferable.
***Any demons found on boat shall be assumed by the buyer.
****Crazy ex wife not included.

YAY IT'S MAY!

Three months to go people! The count down has BEGUN (well, it really begun the day we moved IN, but who's counting ;-)

Sorry no random pictures today. I don't really have a topic either...just felt like I should post or talk or something. Let's see...what's going on...let's make another I'm-not-OCD-I-just-like-lists LIST! ;-)

• The AC is still out! But it's raining so it's ok-ish. It's raining, but still 70 degrees in here! And let me add to the reasons I don't care too much for the crazy cat woman
• REASON 1,237,874 - When the AC went out, I struggled with whether or not to pay for it ourselves, or have her pay for it. DH told me she brought it up and he told her he'd have to check with me because I don't like letting her pay for things that are my responsibility. Now, if we were STAYING here, living here, I would say 'yes, we will find a way to pay for this ourselves - we keep saying this is our house, we should treat it that way' - thing is, it's NOT our house. She has told us that since we moved in, and now, she's right. We are just renting it from her and if it was anyone else, SHE would have to fix it. So since she OFFERED, I told the MAN to tell her ok! And like she does DAILY - she decided that she didn't want to anymore. She said, "WEEEEEEELLLLL, let's just hook up a SWAMP COOLER to the window" - W.T.F????? Do you think ANYONE would pay to rent this place in the middle of AUGUST with NO AC for $1500???????? Sigh...
• We had a rough day Monday - should I say - the MAN was having a rough day which meant *I was having a rough day. He had picked up the boat and it's costing us another $1000!!!!!!! And they said the problem was some bolts that were never tightened when the boat was BUILT! The company is now gone and there is no going to them about it, so i just SUCKS and makes him scared to death that something else will go wrong when he tries to sell it.
• The same day, the Boy comes home and says there is a Science Night thing at his school and he wants to go SOOOOO bad! Well, the MAN is not known for loving crowds, other peoples kids, school functions, his sons teacher, his ex-monster-in-law who volunteers there, or putting on a fun face when he is in a CRAPPY mood - but I talked him into going anyway :-D
• We had a GREAT TIME! We got to take my girls too and since they rarely have school functions on Mondays when we have all the kids together, it was really special. The kids behaved great, Monster-in-law kept her distance, so did the teacher, they had fun and learned stuff (maybe ;-), won a T-shirt for the Boy and the MAN, and then we went for pizza afterward. Even THAT went smoothly which doesn't happen all the time. We talked and laughed and it was a great time. SO glad we all went.
• Went to see the loan lady - Lois Loan (not really, but its a Seinfeld reference) because I had some questions about the paperwork they sent in the mail. She kinda feels like a little like a car sales man, I kept thinking "Hey lady, we've already BOUGHT the place, you can stop selling it now!" But instead I said "Yep, we love it, thats WHY we bought it" about 15 times. I felt a little like she was trying to get around my questions, but I did get the answers I was looking for and found that our payment is actually $100 less a month than I thought - DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY STARBUCKS THAT IS?! ;-) Almost enough . . . almost enough :-D So it was a good meeting. She says we've been loan approved and all is well. And the payment went down eventhough we upgraded some of flooring/countertop options, so that was good.
• I have learned that I need my cell phone more than I might admit to myself. Yesterday I paniced (sp??) when I realized I had lost it either by leaving in on top of my car and driving away or having it stollen outside my kids' school, or it dropped out in the classroom when I dropped off my preschooler. I was at WinCO (a warehouse grocery store for us po' folk) and realized I had lost it. So when I left I had deduced that it was somewhere near the preschool about 30 minutes from where I was. I thought about it as I loaded my frozen juice cans/chicken and fresh veggies in the car, and thought "Yes, yes I do need it THAT bad that I have to now drive an HOUR out of the way to go get it" and I felt good, admiting you have the problem is the first step...not that I plan to DO anything about it, but still...I felt good about that and rewarded myself with a coffee! YAY SELF AWARENESS! ;-)
• OH - it was in the preschool classroom for those of you on the edge of your seats - :-D Crisis Averted!
• I love that my honey loves Dancing with the Stars as much as I do. I can't help it, I LOVE that show! And I realized last night when he and I were watching it online cause we missed it Monday, that its fun watchin it and criticing (sp???) it and talking about the music/outfits/dancing/judging together and him acutally being INTERESTED in it and getting excited about it too! It just hit me when he said "WOW, that was a great performance! He really had the intensity that dance needs and the footwork was great. His posture wasn't great but I think it's a 9" - I looked at him and said "You're so pretty" :-D meaning it in the manliest way POSSIBLE! ;-)
• Now I must leave my slightly comfortable house and put on 'real' clothes to go get my little one from preschool. WOW I will not miss having to drop everything, get all cleaned up, to drive 20 minutes, both ways, to get out, and make nice with other people in society, who I always imagine are judging me. There was more to that, but now I have to GO! SEEEE...

TNT! Happy Commenting!