The Day She Was Accepted Back Into The Family

So you may or may not remember THIS POST about my demon spawn, I MEAN, youngest daughter, who decided to unleash her creative spirit on my WHITE dinning room chairs ... and couch. It looked a little something like this ...

Well I have no transfered my non-sexual crush from the OxyClean guy to the makers of Microfiber ...

THIS IS BEFORE ... BEFORE I REALLY KNEW MY DAUGHTERS POTENCIAL TO INFLICT PAIN WITHOUT A WEAPON ...

THIS is AFTER! And the heavens opened up and smiled down upon me as RUBBING ALCOHOL cleaned this unGodly mess. I kid you not, it LITERALLY melted away and WIPED off! It was like a miracle and life was good and we did rejoice :-D

That is until I found this ^^ At the time of my original post I did not see this MESS on my COUCH. My poor husband could not even sit near the mess for fear of cutting out youngest out of our will. HOWEVER...

Again, the heavens parted and the microfiber and rubbing alcohol did clean that MESS. Seriously though, can you BELIEVE IT?! I only wish they made walls, toddler clothes, and countertops in this stuff.

Other than that, things here are busy but rolling right along. Our Mommy Group had the Christmas Party on Friday where we did that fun little stealyourstuff game and I got all excited, right? Cause we were SUPPOSED to spend $25, right? So, I would SOMEHOW end up with something good, right? And I worked really hard on my gift so through the magic of Karma I would therefore end up with something of equal greatness, riiiiiiiiight?! Hmmmm, um, well that would be a BIG.FAT.NO. I feel like Charlie Brown when he looked down into this Halloween sack and said "I got a rock." Well, I got a rock y'all. A rock in the shape of a $3 Walmart candle.

It had a teeny tiny frame on the front which I guess MUST have cost $22 - but for some reason, I think I just got a $3 Cinnimon sented Walmart rock.

Whatever. Karma, you suck and you SO OWE ME.

Today I finished up one of my giftys and will post pretty pictures of it sometime after the holidays see'ins how other people may get ideas on what they're getting ;-) I also narrowed down the rest of my baking list and got all of the who's, when's, and what's narrowed down and listed out ... which puts my OCD at ease and lets me sleep better at night :-D We also did our shopping today so we are all set for Christmas dinner - YAY PRIME RIB!

I will be making a Gingerbread Berry Lemon TRIFLE ladies and gentlemen ... oh yeah!

So we got out of that pretty unscathed, unless you call $230 for Christmas dinner scathed ::sigh::

And right now I am about to eat dinner with one of my best friends and then we are hittin the town baby! w00t! And drinks are on HER! w00t w00t! Cause I'm old now! w0 .. waiiiiit ...

So I better get going so I can cover up the wrinkles, lift my saggy mom-boobs, and take some advil! Cause I'm drinkin tonight! ;-) Until tomorrow! In which I will again address the fact that my 30 year old body hates me and expresses itself in hangovers :-D I know ... YOU CAN'T WAIT! ;-)

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words

Have you ever had that moment where you quietly wonder if your baby hates you?

I had that moment today, when I finally realized what was going on, THAT was the first thought that came to mind..."Why does my baby hate me? Perhaps she was serious when she told me 'No more peas'."

While sifting through my MANY recipes and compiling a list of things I want to bake for friends and family this year, I looked over my shoulder at my baby. Which I HAD done many times, but since she wasn't in mortal danger I didn't look TOO closely.

Until I saw that look of PURE GUILT or Evil ... jury's still out ... and then she raised her hand ... IT HAD AN INK PEN.

I looked over, as if in slow motion, and let out the scream of 'oMG!THATSA*PEN*WHATDIDYOUDOYOULITTLES**T!' and as I screamed that scream that I am SURE you parents know {or WILL KNOW} my 5 yr old looked over the couch at the calamity and I think they both pooped themselves just a little...


THIS IS MY WHITE DINNING ROOM CHAIR ...

And as I screamed out 'My GOD why?!' I looked to my left and discovered that it was not ONE CHAIR ... OR TWO CHAIRS ... it was THREE ...

That was when I thought to myself, while looking at their terrified expressions, I wonder if she hates me? So what else could I do? I laughed. I laughed that maniacle laughter of the damned - or of a mother who has reached the line where you either laugh or you cry.

So as I ran to grab my oxyclean, and thought to myself "If this works...I am sending in my story to the Oxyclean people and they shall sing it from the mountain tops" - I even contemplated using my video camera to capture the miracle if it worked on the first chair. That's when my inner blogger ran for the camera to take BEFORE pictures ;-)

UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE NO AFTER PICTURES. Oxyclean has betrayed me and we are no longer on speaking terms. I found one, maybe two, possible products that MAY work and I'll be off to the store as soon as the hubs comes home. But even after all this I was laughing it off and saying 'Well at the worst, we'll just recover the chairs I guess, but that SUCKS.'

I needed to do something that made me feel better, made me laugh again, and something that related somehow. I was posting my story on my 'Mommies Message Board' and thought that her sweet angelic picture on there staring at me was MOCKING me somehow - soooooo that is when I opened up my MSPaint {as I am too poor to have anything else ;-)} and got to work.

I think it captures her inner spirit - don't you?

And after I started feeling a little better and thinking that recovering the chairs wouldn't be THAT hard I discovered the ENTIRE ARM OF THE COUCH - ALSO WHITE - COVERED in ink pen. ::SIGH::

That is when someone on my message board wrote - at JUST the right time - "Just remember, she loves you ... she just loves drawing too ;-) "

So that is my story for today, hope you enjoyed it as much as I DID :-D