And They Wonder WHY I Drink

It's not that my life is THAT terrible or anything, it's just that the struggles I'm going through seem so long term right now.

As The MAN says "The light at the end of the tunnel still just looks like a train". Or something like that.

He's a glass-full kinda guy if you can't tell.

So since he got laid off in February we've self-employed. He has a tile license and we've been living off of him installing tile. In the current market that's not exactly a BOOMING area.

It's been very very hard on him physically. He's not in PRIME shape and is not a spring chicken (32) so this line of work is really taking a toll on him. And me. Because he whines. A LOT.

I really really REALLY try to be good about it. To listen without judging, support without bitching, rub his back without expecting it in return. But it's just getting so HARD. And I really hate to bug him about it.

It's not that I can't or don't talk to him about what's bothering me. I just try not to worry him too much.

Because he is a man. And men must fix.

So if there is something I'm worried about he focuses on it and freaks out over it until he just can't think straight and when he's hold a 300lb slab or installing tile on a ceiling ... that's not the BEST time to be distracted.

So I keep it in, and I worry myself nuts.

Mostly I'm worried about money these days. Money and lack of health insurance because of the lack of money. It's getting BAD. We're always behind on our bills, almost NOTHING seems to get paid on time. When I actually do get a check it's a matter of who is latest or rudest or has the biggest late fees.

And all that of course comes after we have to account for food and gas and it's really hard to do that if you have NO IDEA when the next check will come or how much it will be for.

The other issue I have is that he tries so hard to please me and stop me from worrying that he tells me "I can give you X amount from this job on Friday" then inevitably it is X-Y&Z on the following Friday. You can only imagine how frustrating that is when gas and food are as high as they are and there are 6 mouths to feed and drive around.

I honestly do my best not to freak out. To convince myself that we'll be ok. That used to work just fine ... when I knew we were never more than 2 weeks away from the next paycheck and I knew it was $X.

So now he says he wants to hire on some help. He would like to do that with a month or so he says. REALLY?! And would they be paying YOU because that's about the only way it's going to work. There are just so many costs associated with it that I just DON'T see how it's supposed to work.

He needs additional insurance - couple thousand dollars + a monthly expense
He needs to pay for their health ins - HA! WE don't even have any - couple more thousand down + a monthly expense
He needs to get the business "incorporated" - couple thousand dollars more
He wants to hire an accountant - another monthly expense
He needs to save for taxes - MANY thousands of dollars + the government UP YOUR ASS

I don't know. I know he can't continue to do all the work himself, he's just going to kill himself. Then what good is he! ;-)

But I'm just so nervous I can't sleep at night for fear of losing the house. And since our mothers are worse off than us ... THAT would be about the worst thing EVER. Especially since our house payment is probably about the same as we would be paying in rent.

Anyway...fun stuff fun stuff. But HEY the biline warns ya'll - VENTING will ensue. As will drinking ... it's GOT to be beer o'clock SOMEWHERE!

WOW ... 2 Posts in ONE Day?!

Ya know, before today I never really put much stock in curses or voodoo...UNTIL today.


My poor frazzled, nervous wreck of a husband, had to take that BOAT out today for attempt NUMBER 2 at the test drive for our buyer. Mind you, our HOUSE is riding on the sale of this boat. We just picked it up YESTERDAY from the THIRD boat fixer.


The first time was because it wouldn't get up to speed and it was a computer problem that the first boat fixer couldn't fix but still charged us $250. The second boat fixer guy, up in ROCKLIN, fixed said computer problems and $1000 LATER said all was GREAT! We took it out for the first test drive and the boat started knockin around like it was going to explode. On to THIRD boat fixer guy who has to remove the entire engine to get to the problem $1000 LATER. That brings us to today...


My poor husband meets the buyer out there at the dock AGAIN and pays the dock fees AGAIN and he turns the key and 'CLICK' - SMOKE FILLS THE FREAKIN ENGINE! The starter blew up and fryed all the wires. WTF?????


Now this is where the curse comes in. His ex and him had a NASTY break up and she claims to be WICAN or whatever. So my question is...does anyone out there know how to crush a curse or vanquish some voodoo? Anyone with experience on EXORISING DEMONS from marine equipment? I need an old priest and a young priest and jet engine. If I were to throw holy water on it do you think it was sink? Oh wait, it already TRIED that see post "Hoppy Easter" April 2007. Maybe sinking it wouldn't be such a bad idea, if we had insurance on it. Can a blog be used against you in a court of law, say in insurance fraud cases? This is just rediculous now, well I think we passed rediculous $1000 ago.


We had to break into his deposit to pay for the LAST repairs. So far, this guy has been pretty cool. Even though he has seen SMOKE coming from the engine and heard the un-earthly noise come from the hull, he's still interested. Could be that's because he talked us down $7,500 maybe. Maybe he figures that we knocked the price down and now we're taking care of all the repairs and not complaining about it (to him anyway ;-) so he's getting a good deal. Although, I just can't see him thinkin that much more. I mean if I had been buyin this boat and had seen HALF of what he has, I would have walked, no RUN, in the other direction screaming 'dear GOD it's possessed!' but that's just me. I wonder if his wife wonders why he keeps coming home with no boat? I know everytime *I see that damn thing backing into the drive way I wonder 'WHAT THE HELL NOW and wanna set fire to it, again, maybe just ME.


SO! WHO'S IN THE MARKET FOR A BOAT?! I know where you can get one! REAAL CHEAP! WE'RE ABOUT READY TO PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE IT! It was originally a $50,000 boat (that was before me ya'll, don't THINK *I would have been good with that!) and we are letting it go for a SCREEEEEEAAAAMIN deal - only $25,000! It's only got 7 hours on the engine (mostly cause we can't get it out of the dock) and TONS of new parts (CAUSE THEY KEEP EXPLODING) It's a total chick magnet (if the coast guards happen to be female) and you can fit 10 in it! (Good thing, cause it takes that many to paddle back to shore). Comes with many upgrades including a swim deck (the first part of the boat to be noticibly underwater if you start going down so keep any eye on it!) and a wake tower (when going down, this will give you extra leverage to stay out of the water until the coast guard arrive) and life jackets for each person (speaks for itself) SO . . . ya know anyone who might be interested???


*This blog does not represent a valid sales offer even if you WANTED it to.
**Curse may be transferable.
***Any demons found on boat shall be assumed by the buyer.
****Crazy ex wife not included.

Tired...So...VERY...TIRED

I hate this dial-up connection when I am trying desperately to upload pictures. It takes too long and you can't do anything else while it's uploading, it has the be the active window. And it can take like 15-30 minutes! And you can't walk away and do anything else because you have to make sure the connection stays up which it won't unless you are doing something! ERRRRRRR . . . so NO pictures this morning! I'm just too tired for it.

So yesterday was pretty good. I got almost everything put away from Christmas, well I should say it's almost all boxed up anyway ;-) The boxes and tree however are still out and I'm pretty sure they will be for awhile, thats just the way it seems to go. But I was glad it was starting to look like I'd been doing something. Then the MAN got home and tells me that he's going hunting this weekend afterall (the season only goes through Jan. 27th - THANK GOD). However, when they went on Thursday the truck almost got broken into and his friends truck DID get broken into. So they decided until they get a boat and can park and launch elsewhere, they need someone to drop them off - at 4:00 IN THE MORNING. So since this "friend's" wife is a lazy whore, she wouldn't do it, so they ask my mother-in-law! The only thing this woman does that early is roll call her 27 cats for breakfast! So, being the good wife that I am, I offered to take them and she could come over and stay with the baby. He had mentioned they were going to have to PAY her so I said I still expected to be compensated. He says with that little devil look in his eyes "Oh I'll COMPENSATE you all right - hehe" - I said "Yeah, I can get that anytime I want - what else ya got?" ;-)

Then we went out for out little date night thing (that sounds lame). We had such a great time though. We went to several different places on the art circut and they had the most beautiful paintings! I couldn't BELIEVE what they sold for either! There were GREAT snacks and some really great wines. What was nice was to see him excited. He is so fun to be with especially when he feels like he has a purpose. Painting really gives that too him. We talked to one artist about her work and then about his and she invited him to come to the monthly meeting they have at the gallery. He was just over the moon about that. We talked to a couple of artists and they were actually interesting, not at all hoity toity like I would have thought. After all the snacking we weren't too hungry so we went to our favorite place Rosewood just for some appetizers and a glass of wine. It was so nice. I love sitting at the bar no matter where we are because you can be so close. It feels so intimate and romantic, we do it no matter where we go. It was a fun fun night and since the whole thing is FREE the only cost was our dinner. Can't beat that!

When we got home and sent his mom on her way we made sure that she knew - 4:00! Very important cause we were meeting his friend and the whole thing is very time related. They have to bike for 1/2 mile in the mud, set up their blind, put out their decoys, and get settled - all before dawn! F - U - N. So when he called and called and called her this morning with no answer, he was pretty pissed off. He woke me up and had me start calling her. I was a little tired still, go figure, cause the only person that answered was some poor tired lady that was NOT speaking english :-0 I felt sooooo baaaaaad for waking her up. We called his mother for 15 minutes NON STOP and no answer. So he starts freaking because we needed to leave immediately and he didn't know what to do. I told him to go get the car seat ready, we would just have to take the baby with us. Poor little thing, she was like 'what the HELL is going on?" I was afraid she wouldn't go back to sleep either since she was awake the whole time in the car. We got home at about 5:30 and I laid her back down PRAYING she would stay there. And just as I got back into bed and all snuggled in, guess who called? She says to me (insert mother-in-law voice here) "Yeah, so you guys goin or what? I been waitin for your call this whole time" - BULLSHIT. And I told her so. I said "well you weren't waiting at 4 when we called for 15 minutes straight. We've been and gone and home again - thanks though". She kept trying too, trying to tell me that she was ready, she was waiting for us. By the end of the conversation she finally said she MIGHT have fallen asleep. Whatever I said, and just to fuck with her, when she said "SO you had to take the BABY?!" I said "Nah, we just left her here - we figured she'd sleep through" ;-) It was bad I know, but she deserved it. There was a LONG silence and then I finally said "OF COURSE WE TOOK HER." It was funny though >:-)

She did go back to sleep, and so did I, until like 8:00! YAY! you would think, but I just feel worse for some reason, like when you take a nap in the middle of the day, it never helps me anyway. So now he hella owes me and thats fun ;-) I have to go get them soon, maybe then I'll get my coffee and feel better we'll see.